ODU Hockey Camp

Today at 2:05pm, eastern-standard time, I receive an email from coach Appleby about the three day hockey camp in August. Here is that email in its "edited" entirety:

• We will be conducting an ODU Hockey Camp for all returning ODU players and incoming players, a.k.a FRESH MEAT ROOKIE BITCHES, August 19-21. The camp will consist of 3 hours per day icetime WHERE YOU WILL SKATE UNTIL YOU VOMIT EXORCIST STYLE , off-ice workouts at odu CONSISTING OF MASSIVE G.T.L., chalk talks/video reviews IN OTHER WORDS NHL 11 FOR PS3, and team building activities LIKE PARTYING AT THE NEW KLUB KELLY. There is no cost to returning ODU players.If you are living out of town for the summer, we will arrange living accomodations for you BUT YOU AIN'T STAYIN AT WILL VIOLAS . This camp is designed to get the players into a conditioning plan prior to season start SO YOU DON'T DRAG YOUR FAT ASSES THE FIRST THREE WEEKS and also to have all the players accustomed to the playing systems we will use next season SO YOU DON'T LOOK SO STUPID ALL THE TIME. We will be using the Sports Club facilities including the In-line rink. Fall planning and scheduling is underway. It is important that all returning players attend this camp.Tyler "DUCCI MANE" Duchaine will be contacting everyone about this important camp.
  

--
Rich Appleby
Head Coach
ODU Ice Hockey Club
Please Note: Everything in raging mad caps is not the word of coach Appleby.

This news along with the fact that (insert pirate voice) summer be on the horizon caused me to ponder back to my wonder years where I realize that I have never been to a proper "camp"(end pirate voice). I did, however, get to live all the summer time glories through one of the greatest television programs of all time! So watch and enjoy hopefully you are lucky enough to remember back to those simpler times: