Yikes You Must Be Kidding

Yikes

We Need Your Help People!

Attention Fans & Future Fans: ODU Ice Hockey is looking for honorary club members to carry out some responsibilities for next season. We will need: Two people to run the penalty boxes at home games; A dedicated equipment manager who will be able to attend every home and away game; An experienced videographer to tape games and the occasional practice; Several enthusiastic fans willing to dedicate time each week for advertising games; And last, but certainly not least, a core of die-hard fans at each game. Those interested should email club president Tyler "Ducci Mane" Duchaine at tduch002@odu.edu. We will be more than willing to teach you your respective duties. Thank you all for your support this season! We look forward to hearing back from you. We can totes use some Ice Bunny Cheerleaders!

ODU Hockey Camp

Today at 2:05pm, eastern-standard time, I receive an email from coach Appleby about the three day hockey camp in August. Here is that email in its "edited" entirety:

• We will be conducting an ODU Hockey Camp for all returning ODU players and incoming players, a.k.a FRESH MEAT ROOKIE BITCHES, August 19-21. The camp will consist of 3 hours per day icetime WHERE YOU WILL SKATE UNTIL YOU VOMIT EXORCIST STYLE , off-ice workouts at odu CONSISTING OF MASSIVE G.T.L., chalk talks/video reviews IN OTHER WORDS NHL 11 FOR PS3, and team building activities LIKE PARTYING AT THE NEW KLUB KELLY. There is no cost to returning ODU players.If you are living out of town for the summer, we will arrange living accomodations for you BUT YOU AIN'T STAYIN AT WILL VIOLAS . This camp is designed to get the players into a conditioning plan prior to season start SO YOU DON'T DRAG YOUR FAT ASSES THE FIRST THREE WEEKS and also to have all the players accustomed to the playing systems we will use next season SO YOU DON'T LOOK SO STUPID ALL THE TIME. We will be using the Sports Club facilities including the In-line rink. Fall planning and scheduling is underway. It is important that all returning players attend this camp.Tyler "DUCCI MANE" Duchaine will be contacting everyone about this important camp.
  

--
Rich Appleby
Head Coach
ODU Ice Hockey Club
Please Note: Everything in raging mad caps is not the word of coach Appleby.

This news along with the fact that (insert pirate voice) summer be on the horizon caused me to ponder back to my wonder years where I realize that I have never been to a proper "camp"(end pirate voice). I did, however, get to live all the summer time glories through one of the greatest television programs of all time! So watch and enjoy hopefully you are lucky enough to remember back to those simpler times:

Maddness in March Cookout

Saturday March 20th our boys from the #11 ODU basketball team played #3 Baylor in the second round of the NCAA tournament. It was such a nice day outside that some of us decided to have a spontaneous cookout party. So in a big rush we cleaned out my garage, moved one of Evan's ( ODU supporter ) t.v.s outside, and went and stocked up on food and coronas! President Tyler "Ducci Mane" Duchaine maned the grill like a pro. We made a miraculous discovery in finding out that Ducci Mane makes the best Mondo Burgers just like from the classic movie Good Burger. However, these Mondo Burgers were all natural.

As the earlier games progressed on, the boys played a double elimination foosball tournament, one-on-one with four players. The reigning house foosball champion William Viola, me, went 3-0 running the table with no real challengers in the first three games gaining a bye until the championship game. In the games that followed Ducci Mane lost to Evan. Then Evan lost to VCU representative Lance Parker setting up the championship/rivalry game as #1 seed William Viola (ODU) vs. #3 seed Lance Parker (VCU). Mr. Parker put up a valiant David style effort but in the end was over matched by the Goliath skill of the Champion Mr. Viola.

Our Monarch men played a fine basketball game but after keeping it close in the second half ended up falling to the #3 Baylor Bears 76-68. The loss did not stop the party, however, we then celebrated the season and the utter destruction of most people's brackets by the huge upset of #1 seed Kansas.

I would personally like to thank the b-ball team for providing us with a great season and playing their best.

This Guy Had a Baby!

Monarchs Ice Hockey would like to congratulate cornerstone defenseman Ted Bartlett and his wife Liz on the birth of Benjamin Theodore Bartlett, March 16th, 2010, at 5:56 a.m. at Portsmouth Naval Med Center. Little Ben weighed in at 8 pounds, six ounces and was measured at 21 inches long. Surly they'll have him lacing up skates in the near future!

Quote from Ted, "March 16 will definitely go down as the BEST day ever!!!!!!!!! Even when changing diapers!!!!!!!".Again Congratulations Ted and Liz we love you and wish all the best in life to Ben.

Adam Kosna Almost Died

Well now that the season is over it is time to clean your disgusting gear or it will KILL you. A few weeks back before a game I scared Kosna worse than he scares all the ladies right out of Klub Kelly. You see he was unaware of the possible deadly bacteria that can live in a dirty mouth guard much like the one he is wearing above.

According to a study that appears in the September/October 2007 issue of General Dentistry, the AGD's clinical, peer-reviewed journal, mouthguards harbor large numbers of bacteria, yeasts and molds that can possibly lead to life and/or health-threatening infectious/inflammatory diseases.

“Everything that a microorganism needs to survive, including food and water, can be found in a mouthguard,” says Thomas Glass, DDS, PhD, lead author of the study. “While mouthguards appear solid, they are very porous, like a sponge, and with use, microorganisms invade these porosities.”

“These concerns are similar to using an infected toothbrush repeatedly or using silverware that has not been cleaned properly,” says AGD spokesperson Bruce Burton, DMD, MAGD, ABGD. “Although a mouthguard is recommended to prevent permanent damage to the mouth and teeth, we know it also has the potential to be a reservoir for bacteria that can cause gum infections or the bacteria that help promote tooth decay.”

Well thank God Kosna might still live as I have recently been told via my "wall" that he

"gave that mouthguard the premium deluxe wash".

Upon doing research and finding out that I wasn't actually just joking about this stuff I to freaked out and gave my mouth guard a premium deluxe wash. This consisted of actually brushing it for about an hour and then soaking it in mouth wash for three hours.
Full Study

Fun in the Snow

New Jerseys?

Here you can see goalie Dan Rall wonderfully modeling our current white jersey. As good as I think Dan looks in this jersey there is one thing that sticks out that looks so stupid. That freaking puzzle piece. This is a sentiment shared by the majority of people that have to look at it on a routine basis. In my opinion it totally ruins the pride I feel wearing my schools colors and mascot. Taking our ODU Monarch and belittling it into a ridiculous little puzzle piece is just embarrassing. So in all his talent and wisdom President Duchain has designed a new possible crest for next season and I think it has the aesthetics for us to get behind. So please take a look below and comment on how his design makes you feel about our mascot compared to thepuzzling design.

What are We Talking About?

Today as I elliptical machined my way through my sixth mile I was suddenly overtaken by a very low and drowning feeling of loss. This feeling puzzled me so as my hr (heart rate) meter l.e.d. screen began to rise up from its constant pace of 130 b.p.m.'s (beats per minuet) and the stress of it all began to mount up on me as if God himself was pressing a finger to my brow. Then in the blink of an eye, nay the flutter of a humming birds wing the realization came over me and thus the sun was able to shine again.... I am not late for practice.

Our practice schedule is not resuming until the next fall semester. My fear of missing practice made me then think to my self how great A.I. must be to not have to worry about such things as us wholly less talented folk and thus I offer up Mr. Iverson in one of the most quotable speeches on "practice".

End of the Season Stats

Senior Mike Tansey took overall points leadership for ODU with a total of 42 points in 21 games. 2nd year player Andrew Appleby ended up with 41 total points. Also 2nd year player Chris Kohlasch came third with 17 points from the defensive position. If you notice I, William Viola, came in dead last, but gained so much experience none the less. The amount of experience completely unmeasurable, unless you count all those zeros by my name. Then it looks like I didn't gain to much, but I did gain numbers where it counts. My Friends number on Facebook is much larger, yeah that's right I said it..

#	Player	GP	G	A	PTS	PPG	SHG	PIMS	SOG	DQs
12	Tansey, Michael	21	18	24	42	3	3	24	-1	0
41	Appleby, Andrew	21	18	23	41	7	0	4	0	0
4	Kohlasch, Chris	20	8	9	17	2	0	37	-1	0
8	Kelly, Mike	20	6	8	14	1	0	20	0	0
77	Coquelin, Tyler	19	9	4	13	2	0	2	-1	0
10	Kosna, Adam	16	9	4	13	2	0	4	-1	0
9	Barlett, Ted	20	1	10	11	1	0	37	-1	1
93	Krus, Ryan	19	7	3	10	4	0	18	0	0
6	Verhulst, Jake	20	3	4	7	1	0	58	0	0
5	Levine, Steve	16	2	4	6	0	0	0	0	0
11	Dungan, Jay	21	2	3	5	0	0	32	0	0
94	Lefebrve, Brett	19	0	5	5	0	0	10	0	0
15	Richards, Craig	19	1	1	2	0	0	6	0	0
55	Williamson, Marty	16	1	1	2	1	0	30	0	0
35	Harris, Sam	16	0	1	1	0	0	10	0	0
37	Clover, Daniel	18	0	0	0	0	0	4	0	0
13	Rall, Dan	18	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
16	Roth, Richard	10	0	0	0	0	0	0	-1	0
14	Moyer, Ryan	9	0	0	0	0	0	4	0	0
17	Duchaine, Tyler	9	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0
7	Viola, William	8	0	0	0	0	0	2	0	0

ODU vs. Liberty 2/27/10

The ODU Monarchs hockey team ended a successful season with a tiiight 3-2 win over Liberty saturday night at Iceland. Goals from Andrew Appleby, and Chris Kohlasch (2) put the game away.
Goalie Tyler Duchaine had the best game of his career to backstop the win. I, William Viola, ended the season as third line winger and planted the hit of the game that set the tone early in the first period and garnered a monster of a cheer from the fans in the nose bleed section of Ice Land Arena.

After a difficult ACHA season of 1-13 in 2008-2009, the Monarchs improved their overall ACHA record to 9 wins, 10 losses and 3 ties in 2009-2010 and with the entire team returning next season, look to continuing the improvement.

For those of you unable to make the game here are videos of each period!

1st Period

2nd Period

3rd Period

ACHA All Stars

ODU 2nd year players Andrew Appleby (picture right) and Chris Kohlasch (picture top) have been named to the ACHA All Star team representing the BRHC Conference.
Both players will play in the ACHA All Star Tournament the weekend of March 26-30 in West Chester Pa.


Eight ACHA All Star teams from around the country will compete in a 4 game tournament during which the ACHA will pick players to play on the ACHA National Team that will travel to Europe during the Christmas break next year.
The ACHA D-III division consists of over 300 collegiate non-varisty teams from 4 regions of the USA. Good Luck Andy and Kohlasch!

I recently had Andy tell me that I was "Deceptively Good" at a pick up game in which even I would say I had some moves. Now I don't know if deceptive quality is a positive attribute but coming from an All Star I'll take any form of compliment.

Club Election Results

Club President Tyler Duchaine

Vice President Jay Dungan

Vice President Jake Verhulst

Treasurer Tyler Coquelin

#12 Mike Tansey Named to All-Colonial Team

ODU senior player Mike Tansey has been named to the BRHC All-COLONIAL team for the second time in his college hockey career.
Mike was one of thirteen BRHC Colonial Division players honored.
Mike has been one of the top scorers during his career with ODU combining scoring ability with good sportsmanship and scholastic excellence.
The ODU Ice Hockey Club is extremely proud of Mike's achievements.




Tansey gettin dirty

Monarchs vs Roanoke College Scary Highlight

The ODU Monarchs faced a very skilled team from Roanoke College this past weekend in back to back games at Iceland. Roanoke College, an independent team seeking admission to the BRHC, came to town with a 7-2 record but a short bench. They had a highly skilled and fast team but could not keep up with the Monarchs in the two games
Friday night ended up in a 8-4 win for ODU in a fast paced low penalty game. Leading the scoring for the Monarchs were Andy Appleby (3 goals/3assists), Mike Tansey (1 goal/2 assists), Adam Kosna (2 goals), Ryan Krus(powerplay goal), Chris Kohlasch (goal), Ted Bartlett (2 assists) and Mike Kelly (assist). Goalie Dan Rall turned in another strong performance.
Saturday night was a repeat of Friday with a 6-3 ODU victory.
The line of Appleby, Tansey, and Kosna contributed 6 goals and 4 assists with Chris Kohlasch (2 assists), MIke Kelly(assist) Ted Bartlett(assist), and Brett Lefrebreve(assist). Sam Harris had goalie duty this night and provided another strong performance for the Monarchs.